Top news: "Teams stop beating off constantly"

Ok It is official!! As of .... 48min and26 seconds ago, off constantly officially had its first win of the season... You should have been there it was crazy! Once the announcer announced over the mic; "thats the ball game" the fans went CRAZY!! rushing the field. throwing their beers on the other team! it was awesome. Then when the fireworks went off and the city started rioting it was great! i think i saw 3... No there were 4....... Ok its official 4 police cars flipped over and on fire... Riley, having the largest contract on the team offered to pay for one of them. That is the kind of non selfish play that got us the first win of the season.... Next week we shoot for win #2!!!